A lawyer was working on his case when his young son kept bothering him.
He grabbed a world map with a picture of a person on the back, tore it into pieces, and told his son to put the world back together. Then he could come back to him.
The lawyer thought this would keep his son busy for a while, but less than ten minutes later, his son came knocking on the door with the complete puzzle.
The lawyer was surprised by his son’s speed and asked him how he did it.
The son proudly said:
I put the pieces together according to the person, then flipped it over, and it was the world map. As long as the “person” is good, the “world” will be good.
The lawyer patted his son’s head and said, “Thanks for reminding me. I’ve already figured out my closing arguments for tomorrow.”
This story tells us that when things happen, don’t complain about the outside world. The key is you.
No matter when or where, as long as you maintain an optimistic attitude, you’ll find that all your troubles come from your own heart. Your attitude is your true master.
A good attitude can make you optimistic and open-minded, help you see the difficulties you face in the right way, and live a truly happy life.
People with good attitudes usually understand the following 3 laws of life. If you have one, that’s pretty awesome!
The Empty Boat Law
There was a roommate who would get really angry if someone talked too loudly or turned off the lights late, affecting her rest. She thought they were intentionally targeting her.
So she would make loud phone calls in the room, play music really loud, or even argue with others. Everyone in the room was afraid of her.
But strangely, she didn’t care about the noise outside the room.
This roommate’s behavior verifies an effect in psychology called the Empty Boat Effect.
The Empty Boat Effect says that when a person is crossing a river by boat, another boat is about to crash into them. The person yells several times but gets no response, so they start cursing at the people on the boat for being blind.
But when the boat gets closer, they realize it’s an empty boat. Then the person who was angry just moments ago loses their anger in an instant.
You’ll find that it’s the same in everyday life. Whether you get angry or not depends on whether there’s someone on the boat that’s crashing into you.
Often, when we encounter something, we like to say it’s about the situation, not the person. But in most cases, it’s more about the person than the situation, and our emotions mainly come from the people involved in the situation.
“Why did that person bump into me on purpose? I don’t even know them. It’s so infuriating!” “I said hello to my coworker, why did they ignore me? Do they have something against me?”
“I left the classroom and came back to find my classmates who were laughing and talking just now, and they picked up their books and left when they saw me. Are they talking about me behind my back?”
People usually get angry because they feel like someone around them is intentionally targeting them, bullying them. But in many cases, people are just doing their own thing, and no one has the time to target you.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t be self-centered. You won’t be trapped, burdened, or misled by specific events, causing you to get caught in a whirlpool of emotions and constantly torment yourself.
The Crocodile Law
A senior from college was accepted into a major she didn’t like. Even though the major had a direct doctorate program, she thought about having to do work she didn’t like for the rest of her life, so she gave up the opportunity, cut her losses, and took the exam for a field she liked. Now she’s doing what she loves.
The senior’s case is like the Crocodile Law. It says that if a crocodile bites your foot, if you try to pull your foot free with your hand, the crocodile will bite both your hand and your foot. Your only option is to sacrifice your foot.
We often face the crocodile rule in life. Many people will instinctively “put their hand in the crocodile’s mouth.”
Even though their work has deviated from their original intentions, they don’t want to leave their comfort zone, so they don’t give up. They keep finding excuses for themselves and continue to waste their time in the wrong position.
In a relationship, they meet a jerk and refuse to give up on the sunk costs, so they get stuck in painful despair.
“We may not know what the right path is, but please don’t go too far down the wrong path.”
Once, Mahatma Gandhi was on a train and dropped one of his shoes. He immediately took off the other shoe and threw it out the window. The people on the train were confused.
He said, “Since one shoe is already gone, I’ll throw the other one out too. If someone sees the shoes, they’ll have a complete pair, and the shoes will be put to their best use.”
“If you weep for the sun setting, you will also miss the stars.”
The loss of the past is like the sand in our shoes. If you keep fighting it, you won’t solve the problem, you’ll only increase your troubles.
Life always has some failures. You take the wrong path, love the wrong person, choose the wrong direction. Instead of forcing it, let it go. Cut your losses, and don’t let yourself get stuck in negative emotions for a long time.
The Leaky Tile Law
The Charlotte Hornets of the NBA had a player called “Shorty” named Muggsy Bogues. Even though he was only 5'3", he was the best point guard in the NBA at the time.
When he said he wanted to play in the NBA, many people laughed and mocked him, but he kept practicing hard and made it to the NBA.
And when he was playing against players who were an average of 6'7", he was able to lower his dribbling center of gravity because he was short. He had almost no turnovers, was very agile, and moved freely around the court. He was like a little yellow jacket, using his “shorty” advantage to great effect.
Bogues’s experience perfectly verifies the Leaky Tile Law in psychology.
This law says that there’s a house with a roof full of tightly packed tiles. Only one tile is leaking.
Some people look at the roof and only see the leaky tile. But others see the roof covered in neat, orderly tiles.
In life, we inevitably experience self-doubt. We focus all our attention on our bad side and magnify it endlessly. We always compare our shortcomings to other people’s strengths, but we often don’t see our own strengths.
“When I can’t solve a difficult problem at work, am I really not as good as others?” “Everyone else seems so good, I feel like I’m the worst.”
“My peers are all buying houses and cars, but I can’t even take care of myself.” But for those with good attitudes, they don’t over-neglect themselves. Instead, they accept themselves.
No matter what the situation, they always face life with a “what do I have now, not what don’t I have now” attitude.
Even when they see their imperfections, they can accept them calmly and be confident. They know that everyone in the world is imperfect, and life isn’t always perfect.
What we should do is to face our shortcomings after discovering them, dialectically consider whether we can use them to our advantage, and at the same time, keep discovering our strengths and advantages, and maximize the effectiveness of all our strengths.
I really like this quote: “Things change constantly. It’s a day of hardship, it’s a day of joy. Every day is a new beginning.”
A good attitude is one of the most important factors for a happy life. It’s a cure for gloom and the foundation for success. However, a good attitude doesn’t happen overnight. It needs to be cultivated intentionally and maintained over a long period of time.
When we can be consistent in not being self-centered, cutting our losses, and not over-neglecting ourselves, I believe you’ll have a different life experience.
In the constant changes, we gain life experience and embrace a brighter and more beautiful future.