There’s a type of relationship between a man and a woman that we just can’t seem to comprehend.
One is arrogant, while the other is submissive. The more one disregards the other, the more the other clings tightly, unwilling to let go. Despite all attempts to advise them, they just can’t break free from each other!
In the end, you’re torn between sympathizing with the kind-hearted one or blaming the selfish one. It feels like they are both helpless towards each other, mutually dependent, taking what they need while also hurting each other!
The most pitiful emotion in this world is often the combination of self-righteousness and self-deprecation!
Arrogance and inferiority are like best friends because at their core, they lack confidence. They put on a show of being superior, but once exposed, they crumble into inferiority, commonly known as a bully who fears the strong!
Those who appear unruly, believing they are unattainable and that their partners are unworthy, often show disdain, feeling like they are doing a favor while feeling aggrieved. Deep down, they must have been hurt, experienced being belittled, abandoned, or rejected!
Otherwise, why would they look down on their partners but still accept their pleas? In reality, they are enjoying this sense of presence because they too have been deeply scorned, betrayed, humiliated, or rejected!
I know that feeling is tough to bear, but deliberately inflicting that pain on others to balance your own emotions is despicable. It’s not only despicable but also pitiful because by repeating the harm, they lose the ability to feel happiness!
It’s like a victim, to protect themselves, pulling innocent people down with them to achieve inner balance, only to later justify their actions, saying that’s just how life is.
In fact, every time they humiliate their partner, they not only derive pleasure but also remind themselves of their past humiliations. They think their partner is inadequate but lack the confidence and ability to find someone better. Though the current partner may be looked down upon, at least it’s safe. They are always entangled in this confusion, appearing arrogant but internally pitiful!
While we condemn the selfish exploitation and sympathize with silent sacrifices, always remember the dual nature of things!
Just as outwardly arrogant individuals are inwardly insecure, those who choose to endure humiliation willingly have their own inner needs. These needs are not about devotion or selflessness but are driven by vanity—nothing more than lust and pride!
When a person is continuously unrecognized by their partner, their identity concealed but they still choose to endure, it’s because they have accepted that they are unworthy, humble, far inferior to their partner. Being able to stay with their partner is considered a great blessing, a tremendous honor. Though they lose their self-respect, they are at least able to hold onto their partner, which is somewhat comforting!
If others criticize them, it’s like denying their own worth! It’s akin to Stockholm Syndrome, where the victim develops feelings for the criminal, even going as far as aiding them.
This emotional bond causes the victim to develop affection for the abuser, dependency, even assisting the abuser. Hostages feel psychologically dependent on their captors. Their survival is in the captor’s hands, and if the captor lets them live, they are immensely grateful.
They share the captor’s fate, considering the captor’s future as their own, seeing the captor’s safety as their own safety. Consequently, they adopt an “us against them” attitude, viewing the rescuers as enemies.
When a relationship requires sacrificing self-esteem to maintain, it’s no longer meaningful. Therefore, if a relationship makes you more confident, fills your life with hope, and motivates you positively, then that person is definitely the right one!
Love them, even if you can’t protect them, at least don’t harm them, let alone use them to satisfy your own emotional balance! Love them, even if you don’t receive reciprocity, at least don’t accept humiliation, and never lose your self-respect in pursuit of acknowledgment! A beautiful love is when two confident individuals uplift each other, not when two insecure people hurt each other!