“Leftover women” emerged in 2006, implying women who have reached the age of marriage but choose not to get married.
But have you ever wondered why this term didn’t exist before?
Leftover Women Are Evolving
When it comes to leftover women, the general public assumes they have three highs: high age, high education, and high income. However, data shows that 30.1% of leftover women earn less than 2,000 yuan per month, and 42.7% earn less than 3,000 yuan per month. Only 1% earn over 10,000 yuan per month.
Moreover, over half of leftover women have a high school education, and only 17.2% have a bachelor’s degree.
Of course, this data is from years ago, but it can’t be denied that leftover women shouldn’t be stereotyped as highly educated and high-income individuals. There are other women as well.
Many people look at the data and say, “Isn’t this because women are too picky and being left behind?” Using leftover women as an excuse, saying they’re too excellent or too picky, is biased.
Can’t they be responsible for themselves, their future husbands, and children, and strive for marriage as a lifelong goal?
In the past, there was no term for leftover women because most women needed to rely on marriage to survive and didn’t have the conditions to fulfill their spiritual needs.
But now, more and more women can support themselves and don’t need to rely on men economically. This is the fundamental reason for the emergence of the term “leftover women.”
Remember, marriage isn’t a job recruitment, and just because you meet the conditions doesn’t mean you’re the ideal type.
The issue is not whether women are leftover or not; it’s about women who choose not to get married and those who do. The key is to respect their choices and value their own lives.
Many married women desperately want to escape their marriages, but they’re bound by responsibility, benefits, and family ties.
When women take responsibility for themselves, regardless of whether they’re unmarried or unhappily married, their age and past experiences aren’t shameful but rather badges of honor because they’ve accomplished what others dare not.
Strong individuals don’t need to prove their excellence or bravery through marriage or divorce. They don’t need to prove their value through marriage.
They won’t take pride in being leftover, nor will they be ashamed of it.
Age Isn’t the Problem; Immaturity Is
As the number of leftover women increases, it means more people are choosing not to get married at the right age. The reasons are obvious, and some people are too realistic, while others are too unrealistic.
Take Tina, a 35-year-old woman who appears to be a high-achieving, high-income individual. She’s proud of her “leftover” label and often says, “It’s great not to get married, I’m independent and free, and I can buy whatever I want.”
But in reality, Tina is torn. She’s been on many blind dates and attends social events to meet better-quality men, hoping to change her fate.
She looks down on men who are not wealthy and fears losing face in front of friends. However, she won’t reject their pursuit, and even asks for expensive gifts.
When a wealthy suitor pursues her, Tina will immediately show off to her friends, trying to prove that she’s not unwanted.
But she doesn’t realize that she doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone. Her excellent physique and facial features have already attracted numerous pursuers.
In recent years, Tina has been in and out of relationships, but she’s always looking for someone better. She’s never satisfied and has yet to find the one she wants.
Now, Tina is in an awkward phase, looking down on older, divorced men and disliking younger, immature ones.
It’s not scary to be unmarried, but it’s scary to be someone who wants to use marriage to climb the social ladder.
A woman’s youth and beauty will inevitably decline with time, but her wisdom won’t.
Whether to Get Married or Not Should Be Your Own Choice
Since you’re already at an age, being urged to get married by your parents is inevitable. They’ll say, “You’re old, and no one will want you; you’re a failure if you don’t get married, and your life is incomplete without kids.”
The more you’re urged, the more you’ll feel like giving in, thinking, “As long as I compromise, my family will be happy.”
But what does compromise mean? It means you’re forced to marry someone you don’t like, and you’ll feel resentful.
This resentment will be brought into the marriage, affecting your partner as well. Don’t you think they’ll feel resentful too?
Your compromise will only affect your parents’ emotions, not their lives. The one truly affected is you, for the rest of your life.
Whether to get married or not should be your own choice, because then you can take responsibility for your decision.
There’s no need for leftover women to be against blind dates; it’s just a way to meet new people. And there’s no need to treat men as enemies, always on the defensive or even attacking.
People can only understand each other after getting to know each other, and that’s when relationships can develop.