Dying is easy, but living is hard! If everyone knew their lifespan, they’d probably make the most of their lives.
If you knew you only had two or three years left, you’d probably make the most of your remaining days, living life to the fullest with your loved ones, and cherishing every moment as if it were your last.
But if you’re stuck in a situation where you’re not dying, yet not really living either, you’d probably feel guilty for burdening your loved ones, draining their energy, and wasting their lives.
Knowing you’re going to die, you’d at least want to make the most of your last days. What’s scary is living without hope.
This is especially true for those with chronic illnesses or disabilities, who are torn between their love for each other and the burden they’re placing on their partners. They want to push their partners away, but can’t bear to let them go.
Allison has kidney disease and hasn’t found a matching donor. She relies on dialysis to stay alive, but her doctor says her prognosis is uncertain, with some patients living for over a decade, while others only last a few years.
Allison doesn’t want to be a burden to her boyfriend, Mark. Mark sacrifices everything for her, from his social life to his finances, just to take care of her. He even sold his car to pay for her medical bills. Mark takes care of Allison every day, reminding her to take her medication and eat on time.
Although Mark does this willingly, Allison can’t bear the thought of a man in his thirties sacrificing his entire life for her, with no hope of a future, marriage, or kids.Allison can’t imagine leaving Mark behind, and worries about who would take care of him if she were gone.
Allison wants to break up with Mark, but he refuses, saying he can’t abandon her.
Some might say Allison is being selfish, but she’s just trying to avoid burdening Mark. If her life is limited, she wants to make the most of it, but this endless, bleak life is uncertain, and she doesn’t want to ruin Mark’s future.
Breaking up to avoid burdening each other is a noble act, but it’s also taking away the other person’s right to love and care.
I understand the anxiety and reluctance behind this decision, which stems from a deep love that doesn’t want to burden the other person.
But what does it mean to burden someone? Is it not a form of happiness when someone is willing to sacrifice for you? If being with you is the key to their happiness, then all their efforts are a form of joy, not a burden.
If leaving you is painful, but you’re pushing them away, that’s when you’re truly burdening them.
In life, no one can guarantee they won’t burden someone or be burdened by someone else. If we accept this, then supporting and caring for each other becomes a form of happiness and love.
Just like how you sometimes don’t want to move, and just want to rely on your partner, or how you suddenly want to take care of them, as long as you’re both willing to face life together, then supporting each other is what love is all about.
Humans are strange creatures; once we fall deeply in love with someone, our standards of happiness change, and our selfishness turns into selflessness. Because of our partner, our sacrifices become more meaningful!
Being together is fate, and walking together is happiness.
As long as both partners are willing to make sacrifices and give each other the opportunity to do so, that’s when you’re truly making each other happy. Refusing to accept this and wanting equal returns only leads to pain. You stay, I’ll stick with you till death!