A kind word warms three winters, while harsh words freeze six Junes!
In a relationship, nobody wants to hurt each other. But impulsiveness is like a devil, turning someone into a monster in a moment of emotion. People may blurt out hurtful words unintentionally, and the harsher they are, the more damaging to the other person. Once spoken, words cannot be taken back, no matter how many explanations are given. Heartfelt words may be heartwarming, but it’s the hurtful ones that often stick in our minds. It’s not because people hold grudges, but because once hurtful words are said, all the kind words become questionable.
A couple, usually with a good relationship, the husband is lively and quick-witted, sometimes speaking without thinking. The wife is gentle and kind but internally sensitive.
One day, the couple invited me for a family dinner with lots of dishes, good wine, just the three of us.
As we drank, the husband jokingly commented that the wife had gained weight after giving birth. Initially, the wife smiled without saying a word. However, as the husband continued on the topic, oblivious to the change in her expression, the wife finally said, “If you like skinny, why did you choose me? With your poor family background, did you think I wanted to marry you?” This made the husband feel embarrassed, and he retorted, “If you hadn’t begged to marry me back then, would I have married you? Look at yourself!” Tension filled the air, and I was furious, slamming my chopsticks on the table!
The man, though dignified, comes from a poor background and has struggled in his career, leading to his inner insecurities. The woman, three years older, with an ordinary appearance and a slightly plump figure, excels in her career, earning several times more than the man. However, her age and appearance are her inner pains.
Initially, the woman pursued the man, wholeheartedly devoted herself to him, taking care of him both at home and outside. The man, grateful for her care, had never experienced such concern from a woman before. Unlike his previous relationships, he found a sense of belonging with her, and they eventually became a couple.
Their journey wasn’t easy. The woman faced difficulties in childbirth due to her age, while the man, despite the family’s tradition of passing on the name, urged the doctor to prioritize her safety, recognizing how rare it was to find someone who treated him so well. The woman sacrificed her career to support the man’s, wholeheartedly assisting him.
Yet, in front of me, an outsider, these two individuals began to point out each other’s flaws, piercing each other’s hearts with their words.
The tragedy of this world is tearing apart valuable things for others to see.
This couple, in a moment of emotional vulnerability and a fragile ego, spoke thoughtlessly and hurtfully. They both regret their words deeply. Even if they reconcile, these words will linger in their hearts, resurfacing during future conflicts.
In one’s lifetime, there are words we wish we had said but missed the chance, leading to regret. And there are words that should never have been spoken but slipped out in a fit of anger, resulting in irreparable remorse!
Once hurt, the heart shatters like a broken mirror, hard to piece back together. This is true for couples too. Cherish each other while you can!
Did language enrich our expressions or limit our emotions? Some believe that between spouses, formalities are unnecessary, and saying the wrong things is harmless. But I believe that precisely because they are a couple, they should cherish each other. If a stranger hurts you, it’s easier to walk away, but when it’s someone you deeply love, who exposes their vulnerabilities to you out of trust and love, you should protect them instead of causing harm.
We often use the harshest words on our closest ones, assuming they won’t leave us. But love requires mutual respect. Love someone, respect and appreciate them. If you don’t love them, don’t hurt them. Every relationship starts beautifully; remember the initial love, and you will eventually reap your true happiness!
The one who loves me hurts me the most. What concern is it of mine with those who don’t love me? If you love someone, please watch your words!