Many women are taught from a young age to be “submissive and virtuous,” which leads some women to underestimate themselves, lower their own standards, and get used to suffering themselves while pleasing others.
However, many examples prove that these women often don’t live happily ever after. It’s safe to say that being poorly raised is the root cause of a woman’s lifelong suffering, and it’s a common disease among them.
Poorly Raised Girls Have Small Ambitions
I have a relative who had two daughters and was forced to get a vasectomy due to the one-child policy.
Not having a son became a lifelong grudge for him, and he took all his anger out on his two young daughters. From a young age, he demanded they live a frugal life, endure hardship, and never gave them any allowance. He would beat and scold them at will, and when they reached middle school, he wouldn’t let them continue their studies.
His eldest daughter was forced to go out and work before she turned 18. When she was working, an older man from out of state would often show her kindness, buy her late-night snacks, and within half a year, she ran off with him to another state. Relatives joked that a plate of fried noodles was enough to win her over. While it was a joke, it was a sad one.
If she hadn’t been deprived of warmth in her family since childhood, how could she have been moved by a little kindness and run off with someone?
Later, I heard that the man had a tendency to be violent, and she wasn’t happy. Women who marry far away are destined to not get any help from their families. Ma Dong said, “Those who have suffered a lot, just need a little bit of sweetness to fill them up.”
In life, you often find that those who live with sensitivity and caution, or those who are easily tricked, are mostly poorly raised.
Another friend of mine, her parents were particularly biased against girls. She was the eldest daughter, and when she was a child, she had to do the most and the hardest work. The good food, the fun things, and the expensive things were always given to her brother. When she grew up, she always felt inferior. She never dared to compete for any benefits she deserved at work, but she liked to be petty in her life.
Once, when a group of friends were getting together, everyone said they should try out a new upscale restaurant, and the bill would be split equally. From the moment they started ordering to the moment they paid, she kept complaining about how expensive it was and that it wasn’t worth it. Everyone else was disgusted and thought to themselves, “What a cheapskate.” The hotel was indeed luxurious with a quiet and elegant environment, and the prices were a bit high, but the chef’s dishes were also very delicious, so it was worth the price. A nice dinner was ruined by her constant complaining. After that, whenever everyone got together to split the bill, they never dared to invite her out to eat again.
Poorly Raised Girls Are Petty, Have Small Ambitions, Are Stingy, and Are Very Insecure
Because of their insecurity and introversion, they also lose many opportunities for competitive interviews, and they become withdrawn due to their insecurity. Even when they grow up, it’s easy for them to affect their own children because the first person a child faces is their parents.
We can’t choose our birth, but we can choose how to live our lives. Even if you weren’t loved properly in the past, and you didn’t have a family that raised you well, when you’re able to support yourself, you should learn to love yourself and raise yourself well.
Poorly Raised Wives Are Easily Abandoned
Lillie quit her job after having a child and became a stay-at-home mom, dedicating herself to her child and husband. From then on, her life revolved around her child and husband, 24 hours a day.
She no longer dressed up, wearing wrinkled pajamas all day, her hair a mess like a chicken coop. Her body became increasingly obese due to lack of exercise, and she didn’t care.
She thought that since she was at home, she didn’t need to dress up for anyone; and if she was fat, so what, she didn’t have to work, so she didn’t care what others thought. But she was surprisingly willing to spend money on her husband.
Her husband had just been promoted, and she wanted him to look good at work, so she always bought him the most expensive clothes and shoes.
She didn’t let her husband lift a finger around the house, and when he got home, he would lie on the couch like a king and play with his phone.Lillie would tell him about all the trivial matters in the house every day, and he would often ignore her, so they had less and less in common.
Gradually, his socializing became more frequent, and he came home later and later. On their son’s second birthday, when Lillie mentioned that the price of pork had gone up again, her husband said, “Let’s get a divorce. The son will be mine. You have no income, and you can’t support him.”
Lillie was stunned and didn’t understand what was going on for a long time. She thought her husband was joking. It wasn’t until her husband put the divorce agreement in front of her and asked her to sign it that she panicked and cried her heart out.
Later, she followed her husband and learned that he had an affair. When she saw her husband whispering sweet nothings to that “fairy-like” woman, she finally understood where she had gone wrong.
“Women need to raise themselves well. All your anxiety and resentment are caused by being neglected. If you don’t want to be tainted by the world, then start by loving yourself now.”
The most foolish women in marriage raise themselves poorly, being frugal for their husbands in everything, but they don’t earn respect.
Actually, if you’ve lost yourself in your marriage and are just making do, then you might as well find someone in the rest of your life who can work hard with you, who can understand you, tolerate you, respect you, and appreciate you.
Poorly Raised Mothers Easily Raise “Ungrateful Children”
There was a woman who lost her husband in middle age. To prevent her only son from being abused by a stepfather, she decided never to remarry. To make sure her child wasn’t wronged, she always gave him the best food and drink. Whatever others had, her son had; whatever others didn’t have, her son had.
She, however, lived a frugal life. She wore the same two gray clothes for several years and wouldn’t throw them away. She never let her son do any farm work or housework, and she told him to focus on his studies, saying she would be satisfied if he could go to college.
Under her “careful upbringing,” her son became a spoiled brat in the village. A person raised in the countryside couldn’t even tell the difference between wheat and rice, let alone the difference between seedlings and weeds.
Moreover, when he grew up, he didn’t get into the university she had always dreamed of, but he developed a lazy and selfish personality. He would often scold and order his mother, whose hair was already turning gray.
When the villagers saw this, they would say a few words. She would then defend her son. Seeing this, no one would speak up for her anymore. Until one day, she overworked herself and fell ill in bed. Her son ignored her and continued playing his mahjong.
In the middle of the night, he was annoyed by his mother’s cries of pain. He told her rudely that she might as well just die.
Such harsh words broke the woman’s heart. One night, she drank a bottle of pesticide from under her bed and ended her miserable life. As the saying goes, “Spoiling a child is like killing him, and excessive indulgence creates ungrateful children.”
There is an order of seniority. When parents raise their children above themselves, they lose their proper place. When children grow up, they will naturally not respect you. Moreover, those who put themselves in the dust are destined to be looked down upon and hurt by others.
Poorly Raised Elderly People Suffer Themselves and Harm Their Grandchildren
Many elderly people, in order to save money, often eat leftovers, endure minor ailments, and as a result, minor illnesses turn into major illnesses, putting even more burden on their children.
One elderly woman had been coughing for a long time but refused to go to the hospital. She simply bought some cough medicine and took it, but it had no effect.
One day, she fell at home and was taken to the hospital for emergency treatment. She was found to have late-stage lung cancer. The doctor said that the disease had been around for at least two years. Why didn’t she come for treatment earlier?
The elderly woman said, “I’ve lived this long, I’ve had enough. It doesn’t matter if I get treatment or not. Just leave some money for my grandchildren.” The doctor was speechless. Despite all efforts to save her, the elderly woman still died.
When her daughter was cleaning out her belongings, she found that the elderly woman’s bank account had over a million dollars in savings. It turned out that both she and her husband had worked in companies before, and their pensions were not small, but she had always been used to saving money, always thinking about saving money to help her grandchildren.
She didn’t know that her son could spend her entire monthly pension on one meal. Her daughter was heartbroken and didn’t dare spend that money, feeling guilty about spending it.
As the saying goes, “Grandchildren have their own blessings.” We always think about doing good for our grandchildren, but we don’t know that it’s truly good for them when we are well ourselves.
Poorly Raising Yourself Is a Common Disease of Suffering Women
Many times, we women always take on too much responsibility, pretending to be capable of everything;
Or we are too soft-hearted, swallowing our grievances silently and bearing everything;
Or we are too diligent, working hard all our lives, thinking that by suffering ourselves, we can make others happy and earn happiness in return. But we don’t know that these are all common diseases of suffering women.
Poorly raised girls are easily tricked, easily petty, have small ambitions, and most of them will live unhappy lives due to their personality;
Poorly raised wives easily lose themselves in marriage, lose their competitiveness in society, lose their voice in economics, and if they meet a good person, they can stay together until old age. If they meet a fickle person, they will most likely be abandoned;
Poorly raised mothers toil all their lives and get little joy; poorly raised elderly people have a poor quality of life and have no happiness to speak of.
Women, you must learn to raise yourselves well. Raise your appearance well; raise your abilities well; raise your spirit well.
Raising yourself well will give you a firm step and a confident smile. No matter what happens, you will be calm and composed, not panicking because of someone leaving, nor becoming hysterical because of losing something.