“What’s the most important skill that most people lack?” Someone answered, “The ability to quickly regain composure when things go wrong.”
A lot of times, the issue itself isn’t that serious. It’s your emotions, your agitation, that blows things out of proportion and makes you lose your cool. When things go wrong, stay calm and steady. Only then can you face everything with a clear head.
When you master your emotions, everything is in your hands. On the journey of life, our emotions are the barometer of our satisfaction with our lives. If there’s only one subject you should learn in life, it’s emotional management.
Every emotion is there to protect you. **All emotions, at their core, are there to guard us.**
Positive emotions tell us that our current state is already happy, or we’re getting closer to happiness. Negative emotions tell us that our current state is drifting away from the path to happiness.
Emotions themselves aren’t good or bad, right or wrong. It’s our own discriminatory minds that make us want to avoid negative emotions and chase positive ones. Napoleon said:
Those who can control their emotions are more powerful than a general who controls a city.
Emotions are only bad when they’re out of control. I once read a short story: In court, a lawyer pulled out a letter and asked John D. Rockefeller, “Sir, did you receive the letter I sent you? Did you reply?”
John D. Rockefeller calmly replied, “I didn’t reply.” The lawyer then pulled out twenty-odd letters, one by one, asking John D. Rockefeller about each one. John D. Rockefeller responded with the same expression and the same answer.
The lawyer couldn’t control his emotions and flew into a rage, cursing endlessly. In the end, the court ruled in favor of John D. Rockefeller! Because the lawyer’s emotional outburst made him lose his composure. In many aspects of life, it’s not a competition of wisdom, but a battle of emotions.
At any moment, you decide what you want to do. Pain is the cry of the soul. Confusion is the beginning of wisdom. Everything you encounter, everything that makes you uncomfortable, is the beginning of introspection.
All uncomfortable emotions are a form of self-protection, reminding us to pay attention to our current state. When faced with negative emotions, don’t fight them. Look inward, let go of the past, and you’ll gain more freedom and get closer to the life you want.
Don’t argue about simple things, don’t worry about complex things, don’t talk when you’re angry, and don’t make decisions when you’re upset. The existence of emotions is normal. Emotional stability is a sign of someone’s strength and their perspective.
The biggest drain on life is spending time and energy fighting your emotions. Many people have experienced this:
Their marriage fails, and they start to question life, feeling like they’re living too hard.
Their relationship with their coworker is strained, and they become gloomy, feeling like everyone is hateful.
That 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, and the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happens.
In other words, 10% of life is beyond our control, while the other 90% is related to our attitude. I saw this quote online: If life throws you a lemon, you can squeeze it into juice and add some sugar.
We can’t change the facts, but we can change our attitude.
Positive psychology believes that what can bring happiness to a person is not suppressing negative emotions and pretending to be happy, but whether we can open our inner world and accept our true selves.
The same thing, viewed differently, will have completely different emotional responses. Wang Yangming took the civil service exam three times. Among his peers, some were overjoyed at passing, while others were heartbroken at failing.
Only Wang Yangming, after failing multiple times, remained calm. People thought he was heartbroken or numb. But he said, “The world considers failing the exam a shame, but I consider it a shame to be moved by failing the exam.”
You all consider failing a shame, but I consider it a shame to be “moved” by failing.
Victory and defeat in war are always unpredictable. In life, there are more paths to success than just the civil service exam.
Staying calm in the face of adversity is the best way to express emotions when facing various life experiences.
Everyone’s emotions are a reflection of their current satisfaction with life. 80% of our worries come from our desires. 80% of conflicts are caused by emotionalism.
“Don’t Fight Yourself, You’ll Be Stronger,” that most of the pain in life isn’t caused by others, but by ourselves.
If you treat emotions as a person, then resolving them is a process of convincing that person.
Things have already happened, either accept the facts or find a way out. If they haven’t happened yet, don’t fight with your imagined self. Face it calmly and calmly talk to your “self.”
Learning to restrain your emotions, remaining unmoved, peaceful and stable, is a kind of wisdom.
Since there’s nowhere to escape, be joyful. Since there’s no pure land, be calm. Since you don’t get what you want, be content.
Strength is being able to coexist with any misfortune. The most powerful ability a person has is to quickly adjust themselves, no matter how many difficulties and setbacks they face, to not sink into the depths when they’re at a low point, and to remain calm.
All the joys of life belong to the spirit. This kind of joy turns endurance into enjoyment, a victory of the spiritual world over the material world. This is the philosophy of life. Yang Jiang, who lived for a century, was elegant and unfazed by fame and fortune throughout her life.
When Alanna was assigned to clean the toilet, she scrubbed it until it was sparkling clean. When her hair was shaved into a “yin-yang head,” she made herself a wig overnight… At any moment, she never complained or resented, always calmly accepting and optimistically facing it.
At the age of 80, she lost her daughter and husband. There’s no greater pain, but she adjusted her state and, with memories and longing for her loved ones, continued writing and creating, never stopping. Only inner strength can heal oneself.
When things are going well, don’t be overjoyed. When things are going badly, don’t be afraid. As long as a person’s inner self is strong enough, no matter how bad the external environment is, it won’t affect their mood, because learning to control their emotions is a kind of wisdom.
A person’s emotions determine the quality of their life.
Life is an experience. Observe yourself, see all things, experience suffering and happiness. Control your emotions and you control your life. Allow everything to happen, learn to coexist with misfortune, and live in harmony with your imperfect self.
Accept everything, live in the present moment, open your heart, and take things lightly. “Not getting what you want” is the norm. “Imperfection” is life.
No matter how short life is, living with a smile, enjoying with a smile, suffering with a smile, that’s life.