Life’s goal isn’t about chasing happiness, it’s about avoiding pain.
Living a life where you can avoid even a little bit of pain is a happy life.
It’s true, when you can’t control the outside world, the less you get hurt, the more happiness you experience. Some people say:
“Happiness isn’t about having a house, a car, money, or power. It’s about being carefree, worry-free, healthy, and safe.”
Life is short. It’s not hard to just drift through life, but it is hard to live a good life.
How do you live a good life?
When you think about it, it all boils down to three things: cherish those around you, do what’s in front of you, and live each day well.
Cherish Those Around You
After seven years of marriage, Ben got tired of his wife’s unchanging style and her routine. He hated that she always made the same noodles.
So he ran away from his marriage.
But fate had other plans. After dating twelve different women, he realized that after all the fancy food, the noodles were what he really craved.
He went back to win his wife back, but she was already married to someone else. His past feelings of dislike and annoyance became a permanent thorn in his heart.
With a sigh, he said, “Life isn’t a pencil drawing, you can’t erase it.”
Life is a journey with no return ticket. Every decision affects where you end up. Right or wrong, you can’t change it.
Time flies, and regrets, remorse, and frustration eat away at our happiness. You’ll find that the bitter fruit you brew, you have to swallow, no matter how bitter it is.
The good news is, even though there are millions of people in the world, your happiness or unhappiness depends on just a few people who care about you and who you care about.
Remember those who held an umbrella over you in the rain, those who shielded you from the outside world, those who held you tight in the dark, those who stayed up late chatting with you, those who made you laugh, those who cried with you, those who always put you first, those who took you on adventures, those who say they miss you. It’s these people who make up the little pieces of warmth in your life. It’s this warmth that keeps you away from the darkness.
If you’re lucky enough to have those who care about you around you, cherish them. Give back to them with all your heart, love them unconditionally, and be understanding. Don’t take their kindness for granted.
If you’re unlucky and those who care about you and who you care about have drifted away, cherish the good times you had. Work harder to love those around you now, and embrace those who haven’t left you.
Because through them, you can love the whole world. Without them, even if the whole world is yours, it will feel dark and empty.
Do What’s in Front of You
A hospital once interviewed one hundred people who were near death, asking them what their biggest regret was.
Almost all of them said it wasn’t about things they did, but things they didn’t do.
A friend of mine was told he might have cancer during a checkup. He couldn’t sleep that night and thought a lot.
He said, “When I’m facing death, I realize the things I regret are the small things I never took the time to appreciate.”
“I can’t be in my favorite kitchen anymore, making my wife her favorite dishes. The subway near my house is almost finished, but I never got to ride it. I can’t get the spicy hot pot at the corner anymore. My brother is getting married soon, but I never met his wife.”
We all have these feelings.
A place you want to go, a confession that makes your heart beat faster, something you love, all seem ordinary at the time. But not doing them becomes a regret later.
We think we have plenty of time, but that time is often precious and hard to get back.
Someone once asked, “What can you do to have fewer regrets in life?”
“When you don’t know what to do, do the small things in front of you well. When you don’t know where to start, do the thing closest to you.”
Life is really just a series of big and small things.
Life, death, sickness, and old age are all certainties. But the process is a choice. We can choose what to do, what not to do, and how to do it.
Every life is a live performance, with no rehearsal. The joys and sorrows of life are all live broadcasts. Only by doing the things in front of you well can you have fewer regrets.
For the rest of your life, do the things you should do with all your heart. Do the things you want to do as soon as you can. Do the things you can do with all your might. Do the things you can’t do with all your heart.
Believe that it’s never too late to start.
Live Each Day Well
Some people say, “How you live one day is how you’ll live your whole life.”
Today is a continuation of yesterday, and tomorrow is a new chapter of today.
If you can live one day well, you can live your whole life well.
The schedules of the world’s top experts all have one thing in common: they are all very regular. They never waste time.
To live each day well, here are three things to start with:
Focus on Yourself
Yoga teachers often ask students to close their eyes, feel themselves, listen to their breathing, and let their awareness move through every part of their body. “There’s no one else here, just focus on yourself.”
Life is like that too. If you live every day in the eyes of others, using their standards to judge yourself, you’ll only end up anxious and sleepless, and you won’t get anything.
Take the energy you spend on others and bring it back to yourself. Talk more to your mind and body, pay attention to your needs and thoughts, and live each day in a way you like. Then your life won’t be wasted.
Let Go of Comparison
Comparison from within weakens you and turns life into self-torture.
All our unhappiness comes from feeling like we’re not as good as others.
The first time you take a test in school, you realize you’re not as good as others. When the teacher praises other classmates, they don’t mention you.
When you grow up, you realize your friends are prettier than you. When you get married and have a family, you realize other husbands are more attentive than yours.
Other people’s children go to prestigious universities, while yours struggle to even get into college. You work your whole life to get what others start with.
The more you compare, the more twisted and conflicted you become. It feels like everyone else is using their good qualities to remind you of your shortcomings and hurt your self-esteem.
But all these worries are self-inflicted. Let go of comparing yourself to others, and you’ll find peace.
Make Progress Every Day
I’ve heard it said, “Life is like a piggy bank. Every bit of effort you put in will pay off for you one day. All we have to do is work a little harder every day and make a little progress.”
You can let go of comparing yourself to others, but you can’t let go of comparing yourself to who you were yesterday. Because the goal of life is in the distance, and you’ll never get there if you just lie down.
You don’t have to speed up every day, but you should work towards your goals every day.
Every day, there’s a little progress, a little positive feedback.
All these small things, with the power of time, will become the force that propels us forward.
Over time, you won’t be so tired on this journey of life.
There are some loves we never had a chance to experience. By the time we do, we no longer love them.
There are some people we have many chances to meet, but we always find excuses to put it off. By the time we want to see them, it’s too late.
There are some things we have many chances to do, but we keep putting them off. By the time we want to do them, we find out we have no chance.
Life is always unpredictable. To live a good life, you have to cherish those around you, do what’s in front of you, and live each day well. Don’t let regret, remorse, and dissatisfaction haunt you.
Life is so short, we don’t have time to argue, apologize, be sad, hate, or be petty. We only have time to love. Everything is fleeting.
Let’s make a pact to embrace today together, to have fewer regrets and more joy in our lives.