Your best friend is someone you’ll stay connected with forever. Sometimes, you feel closer to them than your family. You can tell them things you wouldn’t tell your parents or siblings.
When you’re happy, you hug each other and laugh. When you’re sad, you hug each other and comfort each other. Having a best friend means you’ll never feel lonely.
But remember, every relationship needs work. Everyone has their own privacy, boundaries, and limits. Even with your best friend, there are three things you should never do, especially the first one.
Don’t Mix Money with Friendship
Money is a great test. It can show you who’s genuine and who’s not, who’s sincere and who’s fake.
We know that a good life is built on a solid foundation of both material and emotional support. Material support is especially important. When you’re so poor you can’t even afford food, you just need a piece of bread to survive. Everything else is secondary.
So, if you want to keep your friendship strong, you should never mix money. Don’t go into business with your friend, don’t co-sign a loan, and don’t borrow money.
One of my relatives lost their friendship with her best friend of twenty years because they went into business together.
At first, they thought their close relationship would make business a breeze. But once the business started, they realized things weren’t as easy as they thought.
They disagreed about management, argued constantly, and ended up fighting about everything. Then, because the business wasn’t doing well, the friend wanted to pull out.
My relative agreed, and that made an already struggling business even worse. They ran out of money and had to close down.
Their twenty-year friendship ended too.
Don’t Share Your Personal Items
Personal items are yours and yours alone. This includes things about your family and children. You should never share these things with your best friend.
These items are for your personal health and well-being. Sharing them with your best friend can make them feel like there’s nothing you don’t share. It can also seriously impact your privacy.
Sarah was going through a divorce and was feeling really down. She went to stay with her best friend, Jessica, who lived across the country. Jessica felt bad for Sarah and cleaned out a spare bedroom for her. She told Sarah that anything in the house was hers to use.
Sarah stayed at Jessica’s house and used her makeup, pajamas, and slippers. She even helped Jessica make breakfast and teach her kids.
After about a month, Sarah felt better and went back home. But a week later, Jessica’s husband went missing.
Jessica had a bad feeling. She remembered how Sarah and her husband would joke around and laugh when Sarah was at her house. She remembered Sarah wearing Jessica’s pajamas while Jessica was watching TV with her husband. All three of them were sitting on the couch.
And what about when Jessica was at work? Sarah was the only one at home with her husband. Was she still wearing Jessica’s pajamas around him? Jessica couldn’t even imagine it.
A couple weeks later, Jessica found her husband with Sarah. They were living together. Sarah had successfully broken up Jessica’s marriage.
When you don’t have clear boundaries with your best friend, they can turn into an enemy. They can invade your life, take over your space, and even ruin your marriage.
So, no matter how good your friend is, you should help them when they need it, but don’t let them live in your home for long periods of time. And don’t let them use your personal items.
Keep Your Privacy to Yourself
Privacy is something you don’t share with anyone else. This includes your parents, children, and husband. So, of course, you should never share it with your best friend.
What kind of privacy shouldn’t you share? Don’t tell your best friend about your relationship with your husband or boyfriend. Don’t tell her about your husband or boyfriend’s flaws.
Don’t brag about your career successes or your wealthy family. And don’t constantly compare your strengths to your friend’s weaknesses. It will make her feel uncomfortable.
Best friends, whether in ancient times or today, are a contradiction. If you have a good relationship with your best friend, you’ll stay in touch forever. But if you have a bad relationship, and your friend is well-behaved and well-mannered, she might never betray your privacy. But what if she isn’t well-behaved or well-mannered? She might tell the whole world.
No matter how good your relationship is, you need to set boundaries and limits. If someone crosses those boundaries, even the best relationship will fall apart.
What are your boundaries and limits? How do you define them? I recommend reading books about developing emotional intelligence and good judgment.
“Good judgment” is a principle that people are embracing today. It’s a sign of sophistication, it’s a higher form of refinement, and it’s a necessary skill for adults. Having high emotional intelligence is actually about having good judgment.