Some people, once they get close to us, lose their boundaries. They lack respect for each other. When we try to create a little distance, they complain and say we’ve changed.
The saying goes, “The friendship of gentlemen is like water.” It’s not about keeping people at arm’s length. It’s about finding balance in our relationships.
Many girls in school have their best friends. They go to class together, shop together, watch their crushes play sports together, and share secrets.
But sometimes, these friends who are always together suddenly fight and stop talking to each other.
Some people say this happens because everyone is different, and being too close can lead to conflict. But we’ve also seen people with very different personalities maintain long-lasting friendships.
The reason close friends fall out often comes down to one thing: being too close.
Too often, being too close makes us forget that we’re two different people. Because we’re close, we unconsciously try to impose our own ideas on the other person and expect them to do things our way.
Maybe we mean well, but it’s hard to know when we’re crossing the line. When one person gets too involved in another person’s life, the once-close relationship becomes a burden. The closer you are, the more friction there is.
There’s a good analogy for the distance between people.
Everyone is like a hedgehog. Their habits and boundaries are like their spines. When hedgehogs feel cold, they want to huddle together for warmth. But if they get too close, their spines will prick each other.
So, overly close relationships can easily lead to hurt because people lose their sense of boundaries.
There’s a reason why distance creates beauty. Everyone has their own “safe zone.” The best relationships aren’t about being together all the time. They’re about keeping a healthy distance.
Family: Distance Brings Respect
Family is the closest we have in the world. We’re not only related by blood, but we also live together.
But even though we’re each other’s closest people, we’re also independent individuals with our own thoughts.
Many parents interfere in their children’s choices because they care. But everyone’s situation is different, and they see things from different perspectives. There’s no right or wrong between generations because their thoughts and social values are different.
But if you interfere too much because you’re close, it’s easy to cause conflict. When these conflicts escalate, family members stop communicating. Even if they see each other every day, they no longer open up to each other.
Family members should also have their own secrets. They don’t need to talk about everything. Not interfering in each other’s lives and choices and simply giving advice is the best way to show respect and trust.
Partners: Distance Shows Trust
The most boundary-less thing couples do is probably looking through each other’s phones to check for “suspicious” messages and contacts.
Couples who can keep a distance show trust in each other. Because they’re partners, they spend most of their time together.
But everyone has their own social circle. Even in a good relationship, people need their own space. Otherwise, the excitement and patience in the relationship will quickly disappear.
It’s hard to stay interested in someone for a long time. When couples keep their distance, they see each other’s good qualities. Once they get close, they see the other person’s flaws.
Trust is important in a relationship. Keeping a healthy distance and giving each other space is the best way to prevent the relationship from being damaged by a sense of confinement. Having your own friends and hobbies and then sharing and appreciating each other is the most comfortable kind of relationship.
Friends: Distance Means Knowing Your Place
Many people keep their distance from friends of the opposite sex to avoid suspicion. But with friends of the same sex, they often forget this and become too close.
This often leads to arguments at home because people borrow too much money from their friends. It can also lead to friends intervening in their friend’s relationship with their boyfriend or getting involved in their friend’s family problems.
Actually, friends initially come together because they have similar temperaments or interests. When they interact, they should use these as a basis for communication. They shouldn’t delve too deeply into each other’s family or personal life.
A truly good friendship isn’t about being together all the time.
Many close friends only contact each other occasionally, checking in on each other and remembering each other. This is enough to maintain a relationship. Friendships that are too close often end because they lose their boundaries and can’t last.
Maintaining a sense of boundaries makes both people feel comfortable.
It’s about having trust without feeling awkward or burdened by being too close. Life is like a ruler. It needs to have a scale. Relationships need boundaries.
If you’re too far away, the relationship fades. If you’re too close, it leads to resentment and conflict. Everyone needs boundaries in their relationships.