Every girl hears the same thing: “Girls are good. Find a man to marry, and you’ll have a car and a house.”
“Why aren’t you married yet? You’re getting older, it’s not good for having kids.”
“Don’t work so hard. Find a good man, that’s the real deal.”
“Your husband is so rich, why do you still need to work? Just stay home and take care of the kids and the family.”
These questions make it seem like the only way for a woman to be successful is to have kids, take care of the family, and find a man to rely on.
But many women, for the sake of their family, their partner, and their children, spend their whole lives working hard, turning from charming and slim ladies into grumpy wives. Some even end up alone and helpless.
“You have to live as yourself first. Then you can be a woman, a girl, a wife, a mother, a member of society.”
The best way for a woman to live is to love others, but love herself more. Have someone to lean on, but stand on her own two feet. When the storm comes, hold her own umbrella.
Loving Yourself is the Start of a Lifelong Romance
The less people love you, the more you should love yourself.
When she was in her early 50s, Susan, after two years of driving around the country, announced she was going to divorce her husband.
She said the divorce was final and she hoped her husband would agree to a divorce settlement, otherwise, she would sue for divorce.
Many people agreed and supported her, but many others criticized her: selfish, heartless, not a good wife or mother.
But looking back, it was just a release of accumulated disappointment.
She was tired of her husband’s emotional abuse, physical abuse, and humiliation after 20 years of marriage. She was so depressed that she even stabbed herself with a knife.
She drove off alone, with her aging body, on a journey to escape, looking for an outlet for her broken heart.
Two years later, during the Mid-Autumn Festival, she returned to the home that had left her scarred, only because she still cared about her husband, who was getting older and wasn’t in good health.
But as soon as she walked through the door, her husband, whom she hadn’t seen in two years, immediately started cursing at her: “You finally know how to come back? You must be unable to make it on your own out there.”
For two years, her husband never called or asked how she was. When she arrived at his doorstep, he greeted her with insults and humiliation.
Susan cooked a delicious dinner for her family with her injured hands, then firmly asked for a divorce.
You can’t wake up someone who’s pretending to sleep, and you can’t warm a heart that doesn’t love. Marriage isn’t about you being good, it’s about the marriage being good.
When we focus on others, expecting our partners to be soulmates, and our children to succeed, we think that’s the best achievement.
But after a lifetime, we realize that there’s no such thing as truly understanding each other, and there’s no such thing as forever soulmates.
Women become beautiful, better, richer, and more charming, not to spend their lives with someone unworthy, but for their own happiness.
A partner is just a decoration in life. With them, it’s icing on the cake. Without them, you can still blossom into a beautiful flower.
The rest of your life is precious, don’t waste it on people and things that aren’t worth it. Loving yourself is the most important thing.
Being Yourself is the Best Kind of Fulfillment
“Have the courage to be yourself, stand alone, don’t try to be someone else.”
Those who dare to be themselves will eventually meet a better version of themselves.
The Indian chief said: “God gave you a cup of water, and you drink your life from it. God gave us life, and we use our lives to create our own lives.”
Just like in a song:
Remember to live in your own heart, not in the eyes of others.
Be strong when you need to be strong, be kind when you need to be kind. Cry when you need to cry.
Take all the cold eyes and mockery as encouragement. This world has given you a unique you.
For the rest of your life, be your own shadow, be your own pillar, pursue your passions, move towards your goals. You will find flowers blooming, you will find the sea, and you will also find similar souls.
Relying on Yourself is the Best Support
There’s a song that goes: “I wanted to be a man’s woman, but I ended up being a woman’s man.”
Every girl used to think they could just be beautiful, and someone would be responsible for making money to support the family.
But after a lifetime, they realize they have to be both beautiful and make money to support the family.
A woman is valuable because she is independent. If she wants to rely on others, she will have a weakness.
Having a career gives you armor to protect yourself from the risks of life and a place to settle your body. It also gives you more options for your future.
A man with empty pockets can’t stand straight. Why? Because he will have to ask for help.
People with their hands out will always be at the mercy of others. If you want to be free, you must learn to have your hand open, to have money in your hand, so that you don’t have to rely on anyone.
As the ancients said: “If you rely on mountains, they will fall, if you rely on people, they will run away.” No one in this world is reliable, the only one you can rely on is yourself.
Women must have their own careers, work hard to make money. Only then, if you break up with someone, can you go to Hokkaido to soak in a hot spring and cry, instead of sitting at home staring at the ceiling and sobbing.
No matter what kind of in-laws or husband you marry, you can still decide what kind of life you want to live, and no one can interfere with your quality of life.
You may be tired from working hard and starting your own business, but it’s beautiful to see yourself relying on yourself.