Even though love and marriage are pretty free these days, a lot of people still think there are rules for marriage.
One of the biggest rules is that you should marry the right person at the right age.
So, if a young woman is over 25, people start pushing her to get married. If she’s over 30, people call her an “old maid.”
My friend’s little sister just graduated college. She got a job she likes and wants to get married.
You’d think her parents would be happy. My friend is over 30 and hasn’t gotten married yet, which has been a big worry for her family. Her sister getting married before 25 seemed like a good thing.
But the whole family is against her sister’s fiance. He’s over 35 and divorced.
“My family is going crazy. I don’t want to get married and they keep dragging me to meet people. My sister wants to get married and they won’t let her,” my friend complained while we were shopping.
“Is the age difference really that big of a deal?” I asked.
“They say she’ll regret it,” she replied.
I was speechless. A lot of my friends are married and they’re not always happy.
Honestly, dating and marriage between people the same age is very different from dating and marriage with a big age gap.
For most people, being around the same age is the best way to get along. If the age difference is less than five years, it’s easier to get to know each other quickly, find things to talk about, and get on the same page.
But because people are the same age, it’s hard for one person to always give in when they argue. They’re equals, so arguments are bound to happen.
A lot of people fight and argue with their partners, which helps them grow together and get used to each other.
But some people prefer to be with someone older, especially women.
Women develop physically and mentally earlier than men. They care more about a man’s maturity and emotional stability. Older men are usually better at these things than younger men.
Here are some reasons why women like older men:
Experience Makes You Mature
Time doesn’t lie. Everything you go through and everything you learn leaves a mark on you.
Older people have more life experience, more knowledge, and a wider perspective. They’re calmer and more rational and know more. It’s easy to be attracted to that.
They Know How to Get Along
Older people have seen and done a lot. They’ve learned how to get along and they’re very accepting.
As long as you don’t cross the line, they’ll be calm and understanding when there’s a conflict. They’re gentle and caring.
They Can Help You Grow
You see the world differently depending on where you stand.
Being with someone older is like standing on their shoulders. You can avoid a lot of mistakes and learn things you wouldn’t have learned on your own.
You’ll get good advice and guidance in life and work. You’ll grow fast.
But a lot of people still don’t like it when people have a big age gap in their marriage. It’s simple.
When two people have a big age gap, their inner worlds are also very different. It’s hard to stay happy and stable, especially spiritually. It’s hard to be “on the same page.”
Different stages of life and different times growing up can lead to very different worldviews and values. Even everyday life can be very different.
More importantly, even though it’s comfortable and easy, it can sometimes feel like there’s no passion.
Big age gaps rarely have passionate relationships. Mature experience leads to a deeper kind of love. It’s more about letting things happen naturally and a slow, steady love.
For mature people, love isn’t the most important thing in life. Being too dependent on each other can feel restrictive and exhausting.
But this attitude can make your partner feel insecure and even doubt your love for them.
This problem exists between people the same age, but it’s more obvious with big age gaps.
Really, there are similar things you need to do to have a comfortable relationship and marriage.
But if you’re with someone who’s much older, these things are even more important and you need to reach them faster.
Be Confident
Older people have more experience and have seen more people. A lot of people feel insecure around people older than them. Over time, they can even feel inferior.
In marriage, not being confident can cause a lot of problems.
For example, you might be nervous all the time and start to suspect everything. You lose yourself and become anxious and afraid of losing your partner.
There are always people better than us. But there’s only one you. Be the best you can be and you’ll be truly confident.
Have a Spiritual Life
Everyone should have their own independent spiritual world, whether they’re young or old.
Have your own work, hobbies, and social circle. If you rely on your partner for your spiritual life, they’ll get tired of it over time and it’s hard to be truly equal.
Strong, lasting relationships are about not being tired of each other, not about one person being the other person’s support system.
So, independent spirits and growing maturity are key for people with big age gaps.
A lot of times, whether a marriage is happy and whether people get along easily has nothing to do with age. It’s all about how you get along and communicate.
Even people the same age can have problems. And there are some age gap relationships that everyone envies. It all comes down to whether two people are on the same page, whether they influence and challenge each other, whether they get used to each other, and whether they accept each other.
That’s why some people fall in love but aren’t happy in their marriage, while some people are overlooked but end up with families everyone envies.
After all, no matter what kind of marriage, it all comes down to how two people get along.