How Much Pressure Do Adults Face?
Everyone tries to be a stable adult, staying positive at work and at home. But it’s really hard to do.
I read a story about a man who, after driving home and parking in the garage, would sit in his car for a while and smoke a cigarette before going inside.
For him, this cigarette was his time to relax.
He wasn’t an employee, a husband, or a father. He was just himself, a tired man with a lot of responsibility.
Adults carry the weight of life: kids, mortgages, car payments. Compared to all this pressure, their dreams from the past seem impossible.
Almost everyone has dreams as a kid about what they’ll do when they grow up and what they want to achieve.
But as we grow up and mature, we realize that many things aren’t about what we want, but what we can do.
When we were kids, we looked forward to growing up, thinking it meant freedom.
But when we actually grow up, we realize that freedom comes with life.
When we were young, we had lots of hopes and ideas, but we started letting them go as we grew older.
It’s not that we gave up. It’s that we had so much to take on. We learned to let go of some things to embrace more.
“It’s normal to like everything when you’re young. It’s understandable to give up things when you’re mature.”
Truly mature adults understand the idea of “letting go, getting rid of, and separating.”
Letting Go of Fantasies, Facing Reality
Fantasies are always so beautiful, but we live in reality.
These fantasies often come with “what if”:
What if I win the lottery? What if I find a high-paying job that’s not stressful? What if that handsome coworker likes me?
When we don’t get what we want, we’re unhappy. We think we’re unhappy because we don’t have it, but look at the people who got what they wanted. They don’t seem as happy as we thought they’d be.
In our imaginations, we think we’re funny and popular, but people are just being polite when they laugh at our boring jokes.
We think we’re charming and attractive, but maybe they just want our money.
Fantasies are always so beautiful, but reality can be cruel.
The scariest part is that fantasies can keep us from understanding ourselves, our situation, and making good choices.
This can actually push us in the opposite direction of what we want, making our dream lives further away.
Getting lost in “what if” gives us only temporary relaxation and rest. But it’s all based on “what if” and doesn’t help with reality.
Let go of fantasies, focus on the present, and do your best with what you have now. This will make your future better.
Mature adults don’t live in fantasies.
They know that they need to make reality happen. Letting go of pointless fantasies will help them face reality better and find real solutions and paths forward.
Letting Go of Stubbornness, Learning to Accept
#When we’re young, we’re fearless.
We’re always so passionate about everything, and we don’t seem to be afraid of anything.
That’s why we’re so stubborn. We’ll do whatever it takes to get what we want, even if we get hurt and beaten up. We’ll stick with it.
When we were young, we believed we could do anything. We dared to love people who didn’t love us back. We dared to do things that seemed impossible.
This wasn’t just because we were young and energetic. It’s also because we had a lot of time. Even if we failed, we felt like we had another chance. After all, life was long.
But being stubborn doesn’t get us everything we want.
Sometimes things don’t even care about our wishes.
The more we fail and get hurt, the calmer we get. We start learning to let go of things that aren’t ours.
Compared to wanting everything when we were young, mature adults think more about what they can have.
The further we go on life’s journey, the more we need to let go. We also learn what we really want, instead of getting caught up in the moment and being stubborn about one thing.
When we mature, we gradually understand that things won’t always be perfect. We also accept that we’re not all-powerful.
The world doesn’t revolve around us. We can do our best to go after something, but we also need to accept that the outcome might not be perfect.
Learning to accept a reality that isn’t what we want is true strength in an adult.
Staying Away from Worrying, Being More “Confused”
People work hard for what they want, but they find themselves getting more and more tired.
Sometimes we’re tired because we worry too much.
We worry about gains and losses, about what others give and achieve, and about our own lack of success.
But many times, our unhappiness comes from our own stubbornness.
We worry because we’re stubborn, but people who are “confused” seem to live more easily and freely.
Being calculating is never a good thing, and worrying is the same.
People who are too serious live a tired and anxious life. The pressure on their mind grows, and they become irritable and moody.
Mature people, on the other hand, seem a little “confused.” They don’t worry as much. They hear gossip and let it go. They try to avoid people they don’t like, and they say just enough. They see through things but don’t always say what they know.
They understand how to let go, so they also understand how to let go of worrying about others. They put more energy into themselves.
True adults learn to let go of things along the way. “Letting go, getting rid of, and separating” isn’t just about physical things. It’s also about mental baggage.
If we keep too much in our minds, we’ll get tired and frustrated. Letting go of some things gives us a little breathing room.